Another
chapter in this Imperfect Girl's life.Today's post is all about the
symbol of the evolution of my journey to where I am today. Today I am
rediscovering self in a whole new way.
So here I am making my way back home to myself... and what a great time to have a symbol that can remind me of the journey.
You may recall in October 2016 I had tattoo done by Crystal Desharnais at
Blessings Studio ~ Tattoo Salon & Fine Art Gallery
of a monarch butterfly, in memory of our little Amy. I was so happy
with that piece of water colour art that I knew I wanted her to be the
artist to revive my phoenix.
I had booked an appointment at
Blessings Studio
in March for my birthday weekend, and had to cancel because I came down
with that horrific cold that was going around. I was super
disappointed, not only did I spend my birthday weekend sick, but I had
really been looking forward to seeing what Crystal would create. I
finally got to re-book my appointment for today and it didn't
disappoint.
First I will tell you a little bit about
what led to this tattoo in the first place when I got it nearly 16 years
ago. At the time, I had recently come out of a 7 year relationship
that really formed much of my teenage/young adult years. For the first
time I was completely independent, discovering myself, and who I wanted
to be moving forward. I was at a place in my life in which I was
letting go of a lot of anger from past hurt and coming in to a place of
more compassion and understanding. At that time fire symbolized the
anger for me and when I got my phoenix I chose cooler colours as a
symbol of letting go of anger as I was rising up from the ashes. I had
purples, blues, and a greens. It was about releasing anger and coming
up from the ashes with a sense of peacefulness. Not typical colours you
think of with a phoenix, but for me it was capturing a chapter of my
life that I was moving forward from and it spoke to me. This was also
long before Harry Potter and most people didn't know much about the
legend of the phoenix, so people generally didn't ask about my choice of
colours.
It
seemed like for a period of time the pendulum had swung from a place
of fire and anger to the other end of the spectrum to a place of water
and peace. This was a good thing if you knew me at a time I carried all
that intensity, but neither ends of the spectrum were really serving me
well. I like to think in the past few years I have found myself in the
middle. The past few years I have been wanting to have her revived,
but I wasn't really sure what that would look like. Now rather than
anger, the fire represents my inner passion, which I wanted to have
captured in the resurrected version of my phoenix as I move forward into
the next chapter of my life. Here is the before shot.
I
knew I was ready to let go of the teal and have a more colourful
pallette. I love purples and wanted a fiery aspect as well. Crystal
laid out the pallette and started painting with the ink to get a sense
of what she was envisioning and if that was a fit for me.
At first I wanted to keep the symbols in the center for strong spirit and Crystal played around with that for a bit.
We talked about symbols and how the symbolism could be there without the actual symbols being prominent.
I
decided that I wanted the symbols there but not prominent. I know they
are there and that is what is important. This piece of art is
evolving, just as I am.
Once both Crystal and I were happy with the freehand design she took a picture which would be her guide as she tattooed.
Then it was time to get to work!
The beginning outlines
A helpful guide but only a guide, the real deal is perfection!
I
absolutely love the way you can see a bit of the original phoenix
design below and how it looks as though she is rising from it. This
phoenix is resurrected! LOVE LOVE LOVE!
Often it is the deepest pain which empowers you to grow from your highest self. ~Karen Salmansohn
